Second chance.

I’ve been observing, and reading about people who got second chance of remarry. Some, turn out to be just fine ( at least look like it ). Some, well.. like repeating the same horror movie again. 

At this moment, to be honest, being married is more terrifying than that movie Conjuring part II for me. Whenever I hear the word “wife”, all the sudden words like : obedience, duty, cuffs, obligation, chains, walls, fences, barb wires amazingly appear.

People often told me : remarry. You’re still ( considered ) young. Love yourself. When you are already too old, who’s gonna take you?

Maybe they’re right.

Time is something we can’t beat. It always moves forward, no matter what. And time is a harder on us, women. 

They say, you’ve got to be positive, there must be someone right out there. Someone better for you. 

For me.


Everytime I hear that, automatically I think about my sons. How they will react. How they will feel, seeing their mother being with someone else than their father. But most important : how this divorce and the remarry ( of their parents ) will effect their character and their value about ‘marriage’.

I’m old fashioned. 

I wish my sons, my grandchildren, my  great grandchildren will marry  to the same person til death do them apart, just like my parents, my grandparents before me. And probably my great great great grandparents, too. Bacause marriage to me, is more than a commitment between two persons. We live in Eastern culture. It should consider family, extended family and ofcourse society. 

I know, I will always need company. I’m not that strong, I will need a partner. Someone to share story with. Someone who can hold my hand, and give me ease and peace. Someone to laugh with, over stupid things. Someone I can call : my own.

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